Author: NazCarGad

Motivational speakers earn 27 dollars per hour on the average, over 12,000 naira with today’s conversion rate. They have become quite popular over the last decade and especially thrive in countries like Nigeria, where the idle-listening-population grows every day. In other climes, one can argue that people are too busy earning a living to stop to listen to how to earn a living FOR FREE whereas in a country like ours, people PAY to sit down and listen or buy books or sign up for life changing master classes. Teaching people how to make a living has broken into the top 20 ways to make a living.

Motivational speakers dish out great speeches to inspire the audience. They usually have a reputation as an expert on a subject (In present day Nigeria however, they dream up said reputation as an expert on a subject).  The audience is encouraged to focus on their talents and abilities and remain oblivious to the many ways the odds are stacked against them. Once you look inward, look at your society, look for a solution to a problem, apply yourself, you can see the goldmine that is Nigeria. They instill FAITH, they instill HOPE, all you need do is believe and one day you shall count Jeff Bezos money. It doesn’t matter that you have the worst leaders and some of the worst government policies and monopolies; these are irrelevant. It shouldn’t count that Nigerian leaders are out to kill your dreams then you. You mustn’t concern yourself with politics, you are an unstoppable bullet, and the world is not ready.

Every Sunday, politicians lay gifts at the feet of the Chief M speakers (Daddy G.Os), cash gifts, car gifts, might even throw in a jet. All to say thank you, thank you for keeping the masses at bay. Thank you for keeping them from demanding better, from killing us in the streets, and from toppling our government. The men with the belly love the M speakers; they are brothers in arm, serving opium to the masses. They also offered hope and faith with their campaign slogans

“Education for all by the year 2000.”  “250 million jobs created by 2020.”

So while you sit at that ted talk, read that book, enroll for that online master class, as you aspire to perspire, it would do you a lot of good to acknowledge the odds, the odds that they try so hard to make you forget.

The Surmountable-Insurmountable Odds: “There are only two classes of people- Leaders & Masses.”

Food: After the first 6 months of your life, after you have exited the level playing ground of Mother’s breast milk*; that is if you survive expired vaccination shots or diarrhea attacks, reality hits you. Some kids get advanced formula, some get balls of garri coated in a thin film of soup. Some get DHA, others don’t know what they get. 1in 100 thinly coated garri kids outshine the advanced formula kids in school. Are you in the 99 percentile?

*argument remains that the ground is already unlevel at this point @ Pregnancy care pills

Electricity: Game of Thrones fans (14% of people on earth) know that Power is Power. You didn’t watch Game of Thrones because your village doesn’t have electricity. Got cable TV? Powered your android phone? Shakespeare read with the burning lamp, is your eyesight 20/20? Especially after consuming crude contaminated water? I believe Uncle Chike from Lagos who tells you- “you too can make it.” I really do.

Education: One line- “They drop out from Harvard and start multi-billion industries; you drop out from _______ (Insert village name & institution) and start a multi-ten industry.”

Healthcare: Can you survive any health challenge more than a mosquito bite? Hell, even that kills you. Do you need a Gofundme for the hole in your heart? Can you afford to monitor your blood pressure at home? You get the point eh.

Safety: Nigeria is a jungle, not a concrete jungle, an actual jungle. A few rests at Pride rock or are equipped with camouflage to make it through. The others are left in the wild. SARS, Militants, Herdsmen, Boko Haram Terrorists, Ritual killers, and Psychos are hunting on all corners. Would you make it through?

The Wall: As McGonagall would say, out of sheer dumb luck you make it. You are the 1 in 100. I hate to break it to you but there is still a chain link fence keeping you in. It is the Hunger Games and you are never breaking out of District 12. No matter how much you huff and puff, you are the rat in the cage. RE: Banning of Okada in Lagos, Banning of Crypto trading using bank accounts. The chain link fence is the law that stops you from purchasing a transformer for your community out of the goodness of your heart. It stops you from personally fixing the East-West road.

So you have two choices:

Dream On; Be like Animal Farm’s Boxer, work yourself to death or

Spit out the Opium and demand more from your leaders to make your journey easier

Remember, we are all POOR in Nigeria, all two hundred and eleven million people are dirt poor. A man who can’t take care of his family can’t be rich. Talent and ability can save you but it can’t save your immediate family, friends, extended and kinsmen. We all can’t count millions or have it but we all can have the basics. The graph doesn’t have to be so abominable skewed. Redemption is not in the Aspire halls, it lies in the ballot. 

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